Why Does Anyone Pay Attention To You?

by Mr. Guelph

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released November 3, 2012

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Mr. Guelph Edmonton, Alberta

& His Profligate Sons

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Track Name: Endlessly Multiplying Potential Flock
So you want to run the world? Make them love you when you're dead? Fill them up with your beliefs and always stay one step ahead? First you'll need a god. Heaven is the greatest lure. You'l never need to specify because evidence is for the insecure.

You say you're without faith. That's OK, pretend. They'll never find out the truth. They all just wait for the end. And once you've got them buying, it won't matter what you sell because anyone who disagrees is bound to end up in hell.

You'll have to show your face, but only ever on a screen. You don't want to look too human, if you know what I mean. Eventually dissent will show it's Hollywood face, but don't give up now. Just quicken the pace. They'll say you're gasping at straws and running out of steam. Just move to the midwest and ignorance will join your team.

And when you feel like you're slowing down and it's finally done, count your cash and followers and head out on the run. You'll leave behind a legacy that they will all revere, so somebody else can try your holy scam again next year.
Track Name: Sir Diamondmine Arrives
There goes the neighbourhood. Sir Diamondmine arrives. He has an odd greeting. Showing off all of his guns and knives. His nasty little game doesn't leave you wanting more. He's simply ridding town of another filthy whore.

This will all hurt later, like a hang over but worse. What he stole from this town was too small for a hearse.

Oxidized toys carve out a pretty shape. It's been done like this before, but never quite the same. Innocent removed with a smile, well done. He calls it his trade, but has a lot more fun.

This will all hurt later, like a hang over but much worse. What he stole from this town was too small for a hearse.

The taste of victory - just a tad too sweet. Especially when it's something you probably shouldn't eat. Fame's funny that way. He talked about it so much. He made himself a legend with a single bloody touch.
Track Name: Landscape Destruction
I'm destroying your landscape.
Whack, wham, squish.

Hello there, I'm examining your refuse.
There's a four-tier drainage system, a television, and a lawn-mower tambourine. Ah, no wheels!

I'm destroying your landscape.
Whack, wham, squish.

Hello again, I'm examining your refuse once more.
There's a washer, and a dryer, and a furnace too. Oh no,
A man!

I'm destroying your landscape.
Track Name: Why Does Anyone Pay Attention To You?
You're clearly missing any point that's existed in the last 30 years.
Those who waste their time on you are part of a ­generation that I hope dies off soon.
But I don't see that happening if youcontinue to indoctrinate millions
­of my peers into your ­sess pool of a culture I'd like to ruin for you.

Fuck your half ton pick up truck and your local sports team.
Neither of them deserve to be in a song.
I don't care how good your lap steel player is
or how much you made in royalties from that Levi's ad.
One day you'll have totake some of
the critisism aimed at you seriously.
Until then you'll have to endure your own
dumbass, redneck, English-speaking audience.

[instrumental break]

Ignorance, pretense, self-pity: the ingredients to a perfect country song.
Neo-cons, rig pigs and really old people: the only ones who appreciate such BS.
You'll never hear any thing like this in a fuckin Garth Brooks song.

[instrumental break the second]

Yee haw
How does it never get old for you?
Yee haw
One would think you'd have grown out of this shit years ago!
Yee haw
But no, you keep this idiocy alive
Yee fuckin haw
And hopefully it'll be the death of you.